ow might we symbolically slice 23 minutes from each watch? Maybe a Trump Swatch (surely a collector’s item!) whose minutes track comes up short at 37 minutes, leaving the remainder empty of indications. On a 12-hour scale, 39% less would mean indexes would stop at around 7.30. Nothing but blank space between 7.37 and 12!

We could, on the contrary, give more to the consumer who has paid extra for their watch by adding 23 minutes to each hour, for a total 83.

Again, this is all perfectly absurd but why not take it to the extreme and imagine tariff-inspired complications? For example, some kind of jumping minutes display that comes to a standstill at 37 minutes and remains stationary for the next 23 minutes, before instantly jumping at 60 minutes. And in parallel – or concentrically – an hour hand that stops at 7.37 and again at 19.37 then makes an instantaneous jump as soon as midday or midnight strikes.

Raymond Weil, historically strong in the US, came up with a tongue-in-cheek response to Trump’s tariffs: the 39mm Millesime Automatic Limited Edition 39% Watch. All 39 sold out immediately.

Retrograde displays are another possible solution, although this would likely be even more complex. For example, a retrograde minutes hand that travels from 0 to 37 would then have to return to its starting position before resuming its journey. Similarly, the hour hand, on reaching 7.37, would snap back to 12, plunging the wearer of the watch into a state of confusion. Calling Agenhor, the specialist in retrograde mechanisms!

Yes, this is all absurd but no more so than a 39% tariff! If Trump’s aim is genuinely to make the American watch industry great again, he can start by having his own Trump watches made on home soil rather than in Switzerland. Of course, this isn’t the first contradiction here. Meanwhile, the Swiss watch industry will feel the sharp end of these 23 minutes per hour. Leaving our German, French and Japanese friends rubbing their hands.